Lucas Brandt "Bringer of Light"

Monday, December 3rd, 2012.

We woke up early in the morning and showered and got all ready for the hospital.  I was so nervous for the surgery and terrified of how things would play out.  Would we get to see our son alive?  What kind of condition would he be in?  How long will he last?  So many questions, and so little answers!

I had a little talk with Lucas while Brandt was in the shower that morning.  I told him that we were going to the hospital and that some doctors were going to cut mommy's tummy open and pull him out, and it would be really loud, the lights would be super bright, and it would be very scary, but that I just wanted him to relax and just breath.  I wanted to let him know that it was ok to cry and that I wanted to hear his little cry, so please just breath and cry.  If he showed me those two things, I knew that we would both be ok.

He was kicking me all the way to the hospital.  I knew he was hungry!  Because I was starving!!! We took some video and pictures of us on the way to the hospital, trying to make it the best we could make it.  It was a very exciting time!
(Keep in mind that I am completely swollen in these pictures - my body swelled up about three days before, and I probably would have gone into labor at this point naturally if I hadn't had a c-section- I was so ready!)

However, it was a very scary time as well, and when we got there, the fear grew.  Talking to the doctors about the plan of action only made my uncertainty worse.  I was terrified of the spinal block and didn't want to not be able to feel myself breath.  The doctors took all this into consideration.  They were so good!


They walked me into the operating room, all which seems so surreal now.  I remember it was so cold and scary!  They sat me down on the bed and leaned me over a table and started the spinal block.  I had a special doctor right there with me the whole time to hold my hand before Brandt came in.  It was so nice!  The spinal block went so fast, and I barely felt any pain.  My feet went warm and tingly.  They swung my legs onto the bed and laid me down.  They put up the sheet and I was fairly numb, still felt things, but on my way.  They told me they were already working on me and I was shocked because I didn't think I was that numb yet....and Brandt hadn't come into the room yet.  I had an oxygen mask on per my concern about not being able to breath.  Brandt walked in about 5 minutes after they got started.  He was surprised they had already started too...he asked if I was ok and I was.  I felt perfectly calm.

Not five minutes after Brandt came in, little Lucas was delivered.  It was 11:35am.  We both heard him crying under the gurgley amniotic fluid coming out of his lungs, but he was crying....which meant he was breathing.  I was so happy!  They told Brandt he could look, and he did look for about two seconds and then sat back down with me.  They whisked Lucas off to NICU to see what could be done.  We talked for a few minutes about how Lucas sounded and wondering what they were doing with him in NICU while the doctors stitched me up.  Another three minutes later, they brought him back to us and said "Here's your new son".  They bandaged up his organs on the outside and wrapped him up in blankets and made him as comfortable as they could.  I was confused as to what they did and when they were going to take him back again....they just let us take him.

6 lbs, 15.5 oz.  21 inches long!!  Perfect!

He was the sweetest little soul I've ever seen and met.  He was perfect!  He cried a tiny bit, but coo'd and made noises for the next seven hours.  It was like he had so much to say to us, and he was trying so hard to say it.  I felt nothing but love coming from this little perfect and pure little person!  He was so beautiful!

Another five minutes and I was done being stitched up.  It was the fastest c-section surgery ever and they said I was easy and everything went perfectly.  I was so happy it was so much easier than I thought I would be.  They wheeled me into the recovery room where our parents were.  We were able to spend a few minutes just the three of us alone, with our new son taking in all the special moments new parents would.  He kept kicking and breathing and cooing.  It was amazing.  We wanted our parents to be a part of this wonderful moment, so we invited them in along with Scott, Devin, and Cassidy, and a little while later, my brother Ryan came.

Ultimately, we had seven beautiful hours with our Lucas, holding him, loving him, talking to him, telling him how much we all love him, and listening to him tell us everything he could.  Brandt was able to bathe him, we took all the pictures and videos we could take, and also Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep came to take some professional pictures of him, and we are so glad they could come and do that for us, because the pictures turned out beautiful, and now we will always have those special moments with our Lucas in gorgeous professional pictures to remember every detail.

After everyone got to hold little Lucas, he came back into my arms and passed peacefully back into Heavenly Fathers arms while his daddy blessed him and gave him a name.  He passed at 6:35pm giving us seven whole hours, which is a miracle in itself, for him to have given us so much time.

Seven hours.  The number seven throughout the bible symbolizes perfection and completeness.  I don't think it's a coincidence he lived exactly seven hours.  His soul is complete and perfect.

Little Lucas was truly our "Bringer of Light"!  He has taught us so much, it's unbelievable!   He touched every life he came in contact with, and a lot of people we don't even know.... who have prayed for us, felt touched by this little miraculous spirit, and felt the love Heavenly Father has for them through Lucas.  So many of the doctors and nurses we had came to kneel at my bedside in the hospital, to cry and tell me of their special experience with Lucas, they were so touched by him, his life, and the feelings that were surrounding him.  I think everyone felt his love.  One special nurse, Christina, who helped Brandt bathe Lucas told me that it was her most special experience as a nurse to help him, she felt so much respect for him, and he touched her so deeply, his little voice, and his cooing.  She also felt he had so much to say.  One day, I know we'll know what he wanted to tell us.

My words aren't adequate enough to describe the full heart of gratitude I feel for Heavenly Father allowing us this opportunity to be a part of Lucas's life.  He has forever changed us.  And we know soon, we will be reunited again with him, and we'll be able to hold our little angel as we held him when he was born.

 He was so much happier when we put his favorite hat back on his little head.

Sweetest little boy ever!

 We felt so much love from this little soul!

Lucas Brandt "Bringer of Light"