Rainbow Surprise

Back in June, Brandt and I decided it would be good timing to try for another baby.  We talked about all the pro's and con's.... I wasn't quite done healing yet, and my body was no where near pre-pregnancy weight.  I still think I had another six months of healing and hormonal changes to get back to normal, but we felt it was good timing despite all that.  We still desperately missed Lucas (still do) and we are longing for our other children to be here as well, so no better time than NOW, right?  So I was getting too excited, and five days before my next period started in July, I couldn't stand the anticipation, so I went and got an early results prego test.  One that will detect pregnancy six days before you start.  As I waited for the results, I prayed so hard that we would get that opportunity, and that it would be positive.  To my surprise, the pregnancy test came back negative.  I felt so disappointed.  I went about my day as normal.  The morning came that I was supposed to start, and I waited and waited.  (Good ol' Aunt Flo usually comes in the morning - Yes, I'm clockwork!)  The later the day got, the more I wondered why it was late.  I had been one day late a day or two in the past few years, so I thought it was just my body still trying to straighten out all the hormonal stuff.  Brandt came home from work that night and still nothing.  My anticipation grew wondering when I would start.  Luckily the test I had gotten at the store five days early came in a two-pack.  So secretly I busted out the second test (mind you you're supposed to take pregnancy tests in the morning when the pee is the strongest - not at night!) But I couldn't wait!  So I quickly took the test and sat it on the counter.  About 45 seconds into waiting, there appeared two double lines!  One was very faint, but it was there!!!!  POSITIVE!!!!!!

I couldn't contain myself.  I had had the cutest plan EVER to announce it to Brandt, but I didn't have time now to prepare anything in secret if we were going to be together all weekend, and I surely couldn't go the entire weekend without telling him.... so I blurted it out to him on the couch!  "So....we need to talk!  Are you ready?"  He was so confused!  "Are you ready to be a daddy again?  Ready for another pregnancy?"  He was in disbelief as was I because the early results test was negative!  (I didn't tell him about that first negative test).  I was thinking about it and I think Heavenly Father knew I couldn't be patient and just find out naturally, I needed to know NOW, and I think He just wanted to surprise me!  It was the best surprise!

Four Weeks Pregnant

This is the day after finding out we were going to have another baby!  I had been really exhausted a few days prior to finding out, but today gave me sooo much energy, the best kind of energy!  I was on cloud 9!  Then a few days later, the real exhaustion kicked in.  I felt more exhausted than I ever did with Lucas.  I just wanted to sleep!  Morning sickness started a few weeks later and I got nauseous all the time, any time of the day.  And I decided I could no longer eat scrambled eggs!  The very thought grossed me out so  bad...still does!  I started to develop a strong craving for Cherry Coke!  I wanted it all the time... I had to limit myself to a few times a week... I had hardly drank soda before this...now I wanted it constantly.  Everything about this pregnancy was different.  I felt like it might be a girl...I felt a strong girl presence and just knew it.  I almost bought the cutest little dress just to prove I knew she was a girl!  But I didn't.

Six Weeks Pregnant

My belly popped out almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant!  Dang weak stomach muscles!!!!  I was thinking it might be twins because my tummy was so big already!  Embarrassing when you're only six weeks along and everyone starts asking you when you're due!  We hadn't even announced it to anyone (accept for the parents) yet!!!!!  Kinda hard to hide when you're wanting to wait longer to tell people this time.

I was so nervous and scared!  But I tried to stay positive and kept taking my prenatals....that's about all I could do to stay healthy and just wait for our ultrasounds to see if things were forming right.

 Seven Weeks Pregnant

For a short period of time, I had to work in Brandt's construction office because we couldn't get the internet to work at home.... So inconvenient when you're sick to your stomach and completely exhausted all day long!  :(

Nine Weeks Pregnant

At nine weeks pregnant - we had our first doctor visit with Dr Gibson.  It seemed like an eternal wait!  She was great thought, I had to switch doctors and was so worried she wouldn't be as good as Dr. Loewen.  She is sorta just like Dr. Loewen except for major high energy which I like!  She's very sympathetic and really makes me feel like she is going to take the best care of me and our situation.  I'm not necessarily considered high risk - but more like high needs.  Which I don't necessarily like the sound of, and I don't call her every other day worried about something.   But she does seem to think I'm the perfect candidate for a VBac, which I'm excited about.  Not so much the labor pain, but excited for a hopeful normal delivery and a normal healing process.  I'm praying so hard that everything goes smooth without any complications!  And baby looked like a perfectly fabulous little gummy bear!  At this point...I'm still thinking she's a girl!  Even catch myself calling her a little girl once in a while!  ha

Due Date:  April 5th, 2014

9 Week Baby

A few days after our first appointment with the doc, we had our second wedding anniversary!  Brandt took me to a nice sushi dinner because I was totally craving it!  I was still feeling exhausted and nauseous, so we kept it low key.  But I am so thankful for this man of mine!  He is the best!!!!  He treats me so good!  Even when I'm gross and yucky and fat, he still loves me :)  And he's still hot as ever!

Second Year Wedding Anniversary - October 7th

Twelve Weeks Pregnant

At 13 weeks, we had a visit with Maternal Fetal Medicine to run a first trimester screen.  It's an ultrasound to check for the nasal bone and nuchal translucency - thickness of fluid at the back of the baby's neck, and two different blood tests.

I was sooo nervous for this appointment.  This is when we found out about Lucas and all his abnormalities, at the same 13 week Maternal Fetal Medicine visit.  I had a couple nights of sleepless anxiety and a few panic attacks.  It was the hardest thing to walk down the halls of the same hospital that we left without Lucas 10 months ago.  I could have sat down right in the middle of the hallway and cried, but I sucked back the tears and tried to remain composed.  I know we had some bad memories at this same hospital with Lucas, but this is the place we finally got to hold our little Lucas in our arms...  and this time, we get to create some amazing memories, I know this new little baby will be so proud to be born in the same place as big brother!  

 This is who we got to see on that ultrasound this time!

Thirteen Week Baby

This was the cutest little profile!  Baby kept sucking it's thumb, and had it's cute little legs crossed at the ankles!  So adorable!  We asked the nurse if we could see the gender.  She tried really hard, but baby's legs wouldn't cooperate!  We did get a glimpse of a little nubbin, but it was so hard to tell....they almost always look the same (girls and boys) at some point in the development process.  Dr made a guesstimate and said it looked "boyish".  But she was so unsure, she didn't want to even tell us that much.  Up until this point, I was absolutely positive SHE was a girl.... but now I had no clue and felt a total feeling of confusion!  haha!!!  Guess we had to wait for our 20 week appt!

Well, two weeks later on my birthday, I decided I couldn't wait any longer, and I needed to know what the gender was, so for my birthday, Brandt took me to Fetal Fotos and we got a gender scan!  To my surprise ONCE AGAIN.... We found that our little baby is a BOY!!!  Even though I had thought up until this point that it was a girl.... I didn't care what we were having!  I just wanted a healthy baby.  We couldn't have been more thrilled!  It was the best birthday ever!!!!

Earlier that day, I had received a special gift from my Lucas, had I not been in tune to the still small communications of him, I would have just passed this little gift off, but I was so grateful to be able to recognize it and know it was from him!  It was quite possibly the best birthday I've ever had, because of the men in my life.

We are so overjoyed to be getting this new little son!  He has the cutest little profile, and I can't wait to see him and hold him in my arms!  

So the next day, I ordered a dozen "gender reveal" cupcakes from Sweet Tooth Fairy.  They had blue cream in the middle.  We got everyone together to make guesses of what they thought we would have, Girl or BOY!  It was pretty split even down the middle...everyone had so much fun.  We all bit in at the same time, and found BLUE for Boy!!!!!!!  So exciting!!!  

 Gender Reveal Cupcakes

 

What a great birthday this turned out to be!  :)  The hardest part now is deciding on boy names!  Brandt has such a hard time choosing, he's so picky!  I know we'll find something that's perfect though!

The morning sickness is gone and I'm feeling great now.  But there are headaches almost daily!  The only thing that takes them away is tylenol and caffeine!

 Fifteen Weeks Pregnant

Eighteen Weeks Pregnant

At this same time with Lucas, I took a pregnancy picture in this same shirt.  I did a side by side comparison.  I am definitely about 20 lbs heavier than I was at 18 weeks with Lucas.  

I can't decide if I like this new dark color better than blonde or not?!?!?!  But there it is... you don't have to look too hard to see the differences 20 lbs can make...especially in my thighs that you can't see ;)  Oh well... it's for a good cause!  We are more and more excited every day!  We can't wait for our special Rainbow Baby to arrive in April!

Our Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer gave this special description of what a Rainbow Baby means, it was beautiful!

""Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

So despite the storms we are still facing with the loss of our first son, we remember that God still loves us, and He is watching out for us and knows what we need for our own good.  He has provided us with special blessings in the midst of the storm, we just have to have our eyes and hearts open to see His blessings!