It's one of my favorite holidays! I love summers and live for the sun, BBQ's, family, and fireworks! I miss so badly the days of hanging out with my family, waking up to a yummy breakfast and hitting the backyard pool all day long! Playing hard and enjoying the sun, getting a little red, and then BBQing it up. My dad is a master at the grill! He really knows how to get it done!
We always had yummy salads, fruit, and lots of treats, then we would head over to the Vernon Werthin park and claim a great spot with our humongous red white and blue denim quilt, eat frozen ice cream treats, and hang out a until fireworks began. Those were the simple days of summer goodness.
About eight years ago (and a few months) I met a really good looking guy at a party. I wasn't expecting much, just another singles party with a couple of my girlfriends. I had so much social anxiety and parties were really stressful. But I got to this party, it was massive. So many people, it was like standing room. I spotted my friend Roxanne across the room and made my way over... she was just hanging out on the couch in the corner. She introduced me to her new friend Brandt, who she had just met. I said hi and talked to Roxy a bit. The party was so chaotic, so I just sat next to Brandt and chatted it up for a bit. Within a few minutes, I could tell this guy was cool. The thing that attracted me to him was that he was reserved. Not too quiet or shy, but just reserved. Quietly confident. He wasn't like all the other guys at this party, being loud, trying to attract as much attention to themselves as they possibly could, looking like idiots... Brandt wasn't like that! By the end of the party, I wanted him to get my number. It didn't happen. We did end up going to Denny's with his buddy and my friend... he still didn't get my number. His buddy ended up getting my friends phone number... and mine. But I went home feeling bummed out because he was a really cool guy. Oh well... His buddy ended up calling me to set up a double date with him and my friend, and Brandt. I pleaded with my friend to go out with him so I could see Brandt again. We set a date and we went out...and it ended up being a dud. He still didn't get my number. And he said he had just graduated from college and planned on moving to AZ. My hopes weren't high, even though I thought he was so cool. So.... a month went by. He bumped into me at another party and I was so excited I could hardly contain it! He said he was moving to St George for the summer to work. I told him my family lived there and we should hang out sometime when I go down there... He said YEAH! And finally got my number. I was a happy girl to say the least! Brandt took me out before he moved to St George and we had a great time. Our first real date was a Harry Potter Play at the Desert Star theater. It was different, but it was great! Throughout the play, I kept glancing over at him, I couldn't get over how good looking he was. And he had good hands!!!! I really wanted to get to know this guy more. We went to Iggy's and watched the Pistons play and had root-beer floats. It was a great date!
He moved to St George, and that began a series of very long phone calls. I loved talking to him! The 4th of July was coming up and I was excited to head down to be with the family for the 4th, and to see Brandt! I sent him a text to let him know I was coming down... His response: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'm coming up there, my sister is coming into town!" So I headed down anyways, hung out with my family, because I just couldn't skip out on them... and then made it back home in time to catch fireworks with Brandt. He took me to Sugar House Park. The fireworks were amazing! Brandt told me he was moving back up to Salt Lake. And we made our relationship official! Boyfriend. Girlfriend. That was one of the best Independence Days ever!
Until this year!
Brandt and I spent the afternoon with his family and playing with Callie. We talked about how this year would be with our little Lucas who would be 7 months old (on July 3rd). We talked about all the fun he would have, seeing new things for the first time. I think he would love it! We were a little down that we couldn't have Lucas here with us. Brandt's family usually stays home and lights fireworks in the driveway. It's always a good time.
This year, I wanted to see the Riverton Fireworks. I convinced Jan and Jeff and Hailey to go, but we took two different cars and the traffic was horrible. I didn't realize it could create so many crowds in such a small town! We lost Jan and Jeff and as we drove further and further away from the park, we realized we were driving past the cemetery, so we pulled in. We were done looking for a place to see the fireworks. I was a little disappointed, but we were happy to just stop by and be with our son for a little bit. As we pulled up to his graveside, we had a perfect view of the fireworks. When we got out of the car... we saw that his headstone had just been placed. It had been months since we purchased it and they told me they would let me know when they were installing it. I never got a notice, so this was a complete surprise. It was beautiful and perfect for Lucas. We were so emotional. The fireworks started, and I sat and cried at my sons burial site. It was so bittersweet! We didn't have Lucas with us, but I was happy we ended our special 4th there at his side. It was the 8th anniversary of beginning mine and Brandts relationship, and it was the last thing that needed to happen to complete the process of Lucas's life.
Who could have guessed 8 years ago that this is where Brandt and I would be on this July 4th?
Our perspective has grown and our hearts have been changed forever! We miss our son more than ever! We can't wait to see him again. But we are grateful for the moments that bring us closer together, and we know he is with us on these special days!
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