Anticipation

I've never been good with Anticipation!  I always want to know what, who, when, where, and why!!!!  Sometimes it's fun to fly by the seat of your pants... but for things like this, I like a plan and all the details figured out!

As it is.... the plan is to go for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section).  It will be such a new experience for me.  There are so many fears that come with having a second child after an angel baby.  So many things come to my mind that can go wrong...  I have a hard time understanding how miraculous an uncomplicated pregnancy, labor, and delivery and having a perfectly healthy baby can be so common.  I know that because we were a one in a million exception with Lucas, I know that we are definitely not immune to be the exception again.  Being the one in a million is all I know.  I am hoping and praying every day for an uncomplicated, uneventful, normal, boring labor and delivery!  I wish I could know when it would happen.... we have nothing scheduled.  It's just all going to happen in it's own time!  I am now 39 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I'm hoping any day now! My friend Teniesha as well as my nephew Jackson share their birthday on April Fools Day (which is tomorrow).  I know it would be fun to have the little munchkin on April Fools, but it would also be cool to have his own day!

I'm so excited to meet my new son.  I can't wait until that moment he's placed in my arms and I get to look at this beautiful new persons face.  I can't wait to see Brandt hold his new son!!!!  I can't wait to take in all the emotion and excitement, and newness!  I'm so excited for the coming next few months to get to know him, play with him, and teach him!  I have so many hopes and dreams for him, and who he'll become, but I'm so excited to see him grow into the person he and his Heavenly Father wants him to become!

As far as my body prepping for delivery goes... here is a picture of me at 39 weeks.  

This picture was on Saturday morning, and by Saturday evening, my visiting teachers came by to bring some treats, and they could obviously see that my belly had dropped.  And they noticed I was significantly bigger.  By the next day, I could really feel I had dropped....or more so that the baby has dropped lower into my pelvic cavity.  Not only could I feel I had more rib cage room, but I could really feel him pushing down in my pelvis!  Sunday morning I thought was almost the real deal!  There were lots of hard cramping and contractions.  I've had so much of that lately it's getting very painful and exhausting.  The contractions don't go anywhere after an hour or two...I just usually try to sleep it off, or I wake up in the middle of the night with more pain.  It makes me scared how my HOUR ride to the hospital will be when it's the real thing?!?!?!?!?  OUCH!!!!  Good thing I'm opting for an epidural!  My doctor is strongly suggesting I get one - in case there is any complications with uterine rupture, and I need a repeat c-section - I will be prepped already for surgery.  It's just more precautionary  :)

....So many variables!